So I was lying in bed tonight thinking about my Drama 1 final which was simply performing a monologue when I thought about how it'd be if he had given us the option to write our own. And so, I got to thinking about it and this is what I've come up with.


Character: Amelia
Story: Life Through the Eyes of a Tattered Soul
By: Myself.





"Why'd he do it? Mama blamed it on the alcohol. I didn't say it, but all I could think was 'the alcohol didn't tell him to have one more sip, it's still his fault,'the alcoholic bastard. I keep wishing that he wasn't an alcoholic. Then maybe he would've turned down that last beer. Then he wouldn't have come into my room while everyone was away. Then he wouldn't have put his hands where they didn't belong. He wouldn't have put his lips where they didn't belong. Then I wouldn't have stayed up all night crying. I wouldn't have told mama when she got home from vacation. Then she wouldn't have yelled. I wouldn't have cried in anger because he wouldn't have tried to call me a liar. Mama wouldn't have kicked him out. He wouldn't have moved upstairs from us. Mama wouldn't have cried. I wouldn't have had to watch mama and him have coffee every morning like nothing was wrong. She wouldn't have had to sneak out of the house to see him. I wouldn't have cried. I wouldn't have to watch as he slowly found his way back into our home. I wouldn't stare at him, welcome back with open arms by mama, and wish he'd just go away forever. Then I wouldn't have been so depressed. I wouldn't have wanted to die every single day. Then maybe, just maybe I'd still be alive. But he is...and I'm not."







So it's oh so very long for a monologue but it's how I feel and with an exception of the last 2 lines, it's all true. I am writing a story called Life Through the Eyes of a Tattered Soul just for myself and whoever wants to read it. I don't plan on being a writer or trying to get it published, I just like to write. It'll be much like Crank by Ellen Hopkins in that it is a fictional story using true events from my life but also using different names. I also didn't write this to make you feel bad or have you really criticize it. I just like to write and this is what came into my mind tonight.